Life is strange. We’re given so many choices from the outset, what job to take, what university to go to, who to marry, where to live. These funny little formal freedoms make us content. We forget that you have to take a job, you have to go to university, you have to marry, and you have to live somewhere nice. There’s not much choice there.
“Dream Dream little child
Dream the Dreams that drive men wild
Sweet you lie and soft you lay
Let the days slip quietly away.Sleep Sleep Let Her sleep
Watch your steps the floor will creak
Ever so Softly cross the hall
Don’t disturb the stars and
wake the moon.
Don’t wake the moonHeart, heart be still my heart
with every moment that we’re apart
Days will come when you are grown
You might have this feeling for your own.Cry, Cry we all cry
Some together and some aside
You don’t have to hide your eyes
There’s no shame in losing it sometimes
It happens all the timeWhen You’re lucky to be alive
If you’re lucky to be alive
I’m lucky to be alive
We’re lucky to be aliveAwake, awake my little one
”
Open your eyes the day has begun
Many to see and much to do
I hope we have the time to see it
I hope we have the time to see it
I hope we have the time
to see it through.
There is a fire before me. I can’t stop it….. I don’t want to stop it. A house is in flames oh no wait… my house is in flames haha.. yes that’s right. I know where I am now… I’m watching it burn; there’s something beautiful about the flame…oh yes it’s glowing brightly. Things move so fast… s-s-so so so soooo fast you know, as if the universe is pulling you along by the strings. Needed to do something wild ya know something crazy.. something even I wouldn’t expect. I think I’ll take a walk—before the sirens come. I don’t feel like explaining what happened ya know. Wait no, that’s not right. I suppose I don’t know what happened. Funny how these things escape you the brain tends to shut down and hell then the body acts… total freedom. Oh.. sirens coming up from behind right on time too… always right on time, never late never wrong. I used to fight you know… before this… fighting fate, fancy way of rolling your dice… scary too. Became boring. There’s something wild about fire, dunno where it’ll end up ya know? Fire is like throwing round dice you know… so many different chances your dice start to curve and the blackouts just make my dice rounder…. Curved dice… there’s a thought. .. hahah
Every second must sacrifice itself for the space-time continuum.
Civilization grasps at straws while I don’t grasp at anything at all.
Maybe that’s the problem.
Maybe as we slowly fall in our unmarked graves I should reach for something.
It could make me look good.
Maybe I’d find something.
Maybe I’m afraid.
Maybe I’ll Fail.
Maybe I don’t understand.
What part of forever don’t I understand?
What part of Irreversible don’t I understand?
Maybe I’ll wake up one day.
With burning in my veins.
Maybe.
Best thing of the fucking year.
We grew bored again.
There were no more insects to kill.
No more bugs to tear apart in our curious investigations.
Just that burning room drenched in a drowsy humidity.
Almost every night one of us would wake up; as if drowning in a dream or in our very own rooms.
We would pass the old rusted fan, and head into the bathroom.
Lukewarm water awaited us in the shower.
Even warm water was refreshing in that heat.
Alex was the first to discover our new hobby.
As he started towards the shower one night, pulled up by the torture of unknown nightmares and heat, the rusted fan clipped him.
Maybe that’s when our minds cracked.
The moment that fan clipped Alex it was as if our fates had been decided.
He turned around and rushed to wake us, flesh blood dripping from his arm.
The pain had woken him up, it had done something endless lukewarm showers couldn’t hope to achieve; Alex was awake.
He woke me first and pulled me to the fan eagerly, challenging me to see which one of us could hold our hands to the spinning blades of the rusted fan for the longest.
In a week, all of our hands were covered with blood scabbed over- scars being slowly nurtured into existance.
We could identify the fat and muscle tissue of in our arms; when cut to the bone- we used the sowing kit as a set of makeshift stitches. John would study his body, he would pull at fat and muscle with an eerily curious fascination. It was as if things that never made sense were becoming clear to him. Cut a tendon, and he would lose movement of a finger. Cut a muscle and he would lose the power behind his strong arms. John would laugh, fascinated by his discoveries and growing more crippled by the day.
They’ll always call you insane before you try.
Often you won’t.
If you try.
Often you’ll fail.
When you succeed
Genius.
That summer was unbearably hot.
We’d watch flies buzzing around our room.
It was a desperate buzz, failing and choking.
We didn’t use fly swatters.
We used knives.
John thought of it first, we laughed at him: impossible.
A day later he could cut a sitting fly in a single swing.
A week later, he would half them as they flew.
In a month, he had grown bored of killing flies.
He would cut off their wings and watch them scurry around in futility.
He didn’t kill them anymore, he just watched them crawl around; doomed to a death of starvation.
We all thought John was sick, mentally.
That didn’t stop us from trying to best him.
Soon the flies stopped coming.
enjoy following my descent into madness, it’s going to be a wild ride…..
then go back to sleep again.
Amy didn’t know that she was actually allergic to tissues.
Remember the narrator in fight club. The orderly and conforming member of society. That’s you. Tyler Durden is who you wish you could be.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He’s that guy who does what he wants.
He hates me, and I hate him. and I always play a losing game. But you know what? He respects my right to do that.
and I kissed her.
Then I turned around,
and I kissed her.
Then I grabbed for another, and I kissed her.
I kissed her Asian and Caucasian
I kissed her blonde and brunette.
I kissed her brown and black.
I kissed her dark blue hair
I kissed her red fiery lips until mine cracked blood.
I saw the girl I loved but I can’t remember what she looks like.
